If you know me well, you know that food the way to this girl’s heart! Well, food and coffee and books and laughter and puppies… Okay, rabbit trail… aaaanywho… I LOVE food!!! My parents will be the first to say “Amen” to the fact that if I’m even a little bit grumpy, if you feed me, most likely my mood will turn around, and I will perk right up! 😂🤷♀️
I love to try new foods, especially when traveling, but I also definitely love some good old comfort food! I have a serious sweet tooth, I could eat Mexican food multiple times a week, pizza is a staple, but I think hands down my number one weakness used to be bread. I say “used to be” because Celiac Disease has put a serious damper on my bread consumption. But if I could… Oh man, would I scarf down some “Brown Bread” from the Cheesecake Factory, some cheesy biscuits from Red Lobster, the loaf of French bread from Tony Roma’s, the bread sticks from Olive Garden, some biscuits from Cracker Barrel, the rolls from Texas Roadhouse… Basically, ALLLLLL THE BREAD!!!! I’m not going to lie, I miss the good stuff….
“And when they found Him on the other side of the sea, they asked Him, ‘Rabbi, when did You get here?’ Jesus answered, ‘ [and leads] ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ But as I told you, you have seen Me and still you do not believe. – John 6:25-40 (Amplified)
Oh! The sweet sweet irony, that Jesus tells me He is the “Bread of Life!” My Bread craving can be satisfied every moment of every day!!! I’m just saying, if you have ever really tasted of His mercy, grace, forgiveness, love, compassion, righteousness, sovereignty, power… How could you ever hunger again??? I don’t even know how to put into words an explanation of the way Jesus has so completely satisfied me for these past few months, but since this is a blog, I guess I’ll do my best. 😉
It is unbelievable (I mean genuinely unfathomable unless you’ve experienced it) the difference that full surrender to Jesus makes. If your relationship with God feels forced, fake, or He feels far away… If you can’t taste His goodness and closeness, there’s a very good chance there’s something dulling your “taste buds.” For me, it was the TV shows and movies I was watching, the music I was listening to, the things I joked about… It was fear of what God would call me to if I gave Him everything. There were still lots of walls that I held up. They seemed small in comparison to the Jericho sized walls I had before I was saved, or the Great Wall of China I had built before my accident, but as “small” as they may have seemed, walls are walls. Sin is sin.
I watched God’s Not Dead – A Light in Darkness recently, and the Pastor was struggling with what to do in a tough situation. A fellow believer was reminding him why they were doing what they were doing. The pastor said, “It’s not that easy. ” And his friend’s response has resonated deeply with me. He said, “No, it’s not easy, but it’s simple.”
It’s so true!!! Doing the right thing, following Jesus wholeheartedly, it isn’t easy. But it sure is simple. Once I decided I was really done trying to hold on to anything that didn’t glorify God, to let go of trying to control my life, I was absolutely amazed at how simple God has allowed this relationship between us to flow!
He has taken away the desire for any of those things that don’t please Him. He has completely changed my tastebuds! He has given me a disgust for sin, knowing it’s what nailed Him to a cross for me. And He has given me a newfound hunger for His word and to know Him personally! All I want is Jesus!!! I pray I always hunger after Him, and find my satisfaction in Him.
Satan is SO not happy that Jesus has my heart, and boy I can feel it… I have been pretty vocal recently about what God is doing in my life, and I know that Satan is going to try to do anything he can, in order to thwart Christ getting the victory. I could feel this so heavily from Sunday through Tuesday of this past week. Last Sunday, I was blessed to have the opportunity to share my testimony with my church, and I know that Satan was mad as all get out that God was being glorified through my story.
There was nothing wrong, literally not. a. thing… But I could feel the weight of that depression I had talked about in my testimony seeping back in. I wanted to cry all day Monday, and other than Satan, I really couldn’t tell you why. I could hear the lies being whispered, “You’re alone,” “No one wants you,” “God can’t use you. You’re too broken.” I could feel the depression like a physical weight on my shoulders and in my chest. While these feelings of sadness and heaviness were just as real as before, this time around was SO much different. See, I have tasted of how amazing and intimate a relationship with Christ can be. So, as I felt the sadness creeping in, as I heard those lies whispered in my ear, I cried out to Jesus – my refuge, my strength, my rock, my strong tower, my hiding place, the One who already won the victory over Satan and darkness! I ran to His word, and found comfort and peace that goes beyond human understanding in the words He wrote to ME. The sadness wasn’t immediately gone, but I chose to believe truth. I was able to lift my hands and my tear stained face and say, “God, this struggle with depression may be the thorn in my flesh that you ask me to carry, just like the one Paul had to deal with. But I will choose to believe that You are good, and Sovereign, and I will give You the glory regardless of how I feel.” So from Sunday afternoon through Tuesday night I prayed this way, I dove into God’s word, and I listened to a lot of worship music… When I woke up Wednesday, I could just feel it. I felt lighter, like the weight was gone, and I know only Jesus could have taken that burden for me.
Over and over and over again, He proves how powerful and kind He is, and every time I’m still surprised that He chooses to lavish me with this unconditional love! I can’t keep quiet about Him! Because I have tasted the sweetness and richness and the satisfying fulfillment from an aching “hunger” that was there before I surrendered myself to Jesus completely. Before I really knew what hearing Him speak was like. When those walls are gone, the open relationship and communication you get to have with your Father, your best friend, your Savior… It’s unbelievable!! I honestly used to think that just wasn’t a thing, that God didn’t communicate with His people anymore. But, that’s because you can’t hear Him when you have soundproof barriers up around all you. If I named every way He has laid something out for me to perfectly align with what I was talking to Him about, whether directly from His word, from a sermon, from a song exactly when I needed to hear it, or a direct answer to prayer, your mind would be blown! Even if His answer is “no” or “wait,” I know without a doubt, with FULL confidence, that He has my best interest in mind! Do you know how freeing and comforting it is to know the God of the universe is on your side?! That the King of Heaven longs to hold His broken creation close to Him, and have an intimate relationship where He knows everything about you, and you get to know Him in return!?!
If you you’re tired of feeling empty, dissatisfied, hungry for more…. Turn your eyes on Jesus!
“” – Psalm 34:8 (Amplified)